51 Weeks + Some Emotions

So, blogger has changed and I'm finding myself a bit disoriented. I apologize if there are any errors or things in strange places... plus, a little note. My boy is getting SO TALL that he no longer fits diagonal in the camera frame. I have to turn him completely horizontal to fit him {and his stringy limbs} in the picture!

My baby. He turned 51 weeks this week. You know what that means? Next week is 52 weeks... equaling one year. His one year doctor's check up. He'll no longer be a baby, but he'll always be my baby. Even when he leaves me and goes off to college to meet some beautiful girl who he will marry and then really not be mine anymore. Then I'm going to have to dance with him at his wedding {and we all know how the tears will flow}. Then they'll have babies and the only thing I'll be able to think of is that he was MY baby once. I'll love those grand children {I've instructed Bobby that my Grandmother name is to be "Gigi"}, but I'll never love them like my own baby.

Gosh, I love that boy. I'm not emotional about it at all, either.

Over the past week, I've felt a huge weight. Perhaps it's the impending doom that Camden is turning one next week. Perhaps it's the fact that I've been a parent for almost one year now. Whatever the reason, I get a little teary eyed thinking about it. I am responsible for this little guy. He is mine. All mine. He depends on ME to learn things about life. What if I don't have the best opinions about things? What if I don't know how to teach him calculus? What if I don't know every story in the bible to share with him? Surely I'm not fit to be responsible for everything this sweet, little boy will learn or get into. It's me that's responsible for teaching him how to love, or how to follow the rules, or how to respect others. I have trouble doing all of those things in my OWN life correctly, how am I going to teach him?

I suppose I just pray. Without ceasing. And teach Camden to do the same thing. Because we can't do it all on our own. We are sinners by nature and that is our burden. Trusting in God is the only way we're going to get through all of this...and not just "get through." We're instructed to live fully and give happily back to the Lord what we're given. If I can teach Camden at least that, then I think we'll be ok.

Until his wedding. Then I may really need some help. Or an extra-large box of tissues.

Happy 51 Weeks, my sweet baby Camden. Oh, how your Mama loves you so. {Daddy does too!}